i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
