I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize