We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
