Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
