Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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