cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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