Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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