Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
