Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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