how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
