I got chris browned last night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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