if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Watching her eat just hurts me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
