by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
