i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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