What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize