Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
