I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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