Just cropdusted the office
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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