i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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