Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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