HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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