becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're using joints as your birthday candles
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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