New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
