yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So vagazzling was a success
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
