Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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