You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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