She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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