so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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