Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize