It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
