WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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