ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize