I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
