we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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