This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
