i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
