Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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