you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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