so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
