You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
