after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
