you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
