I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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