My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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