Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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