He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Be still, my beating vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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