I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
