My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
third nipple confirmed
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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