just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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