yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
