She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
