Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize