Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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