Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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