That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
