What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
