My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
