you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it's like heaven, but drunker
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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