yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
