All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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